Zygi's Believe It or Not: Oddities of the 50th Season

Come one, come all! Step right up! Bear witness to the bizarre! Behold, the grotesque and the freaky! The deranged circus that was the 2010 Vikings' season left in its wake more carnage than a Rob Zombie film. Each twisted side show distracted more and more from the main event: the complete self destruction of a Super Bowl favorite.

Brett Favre's media lackey, Ed Werder, reports that the new grandpa will remain retired. Never trust a man with a mustache.

Deadspin releases a story alleging that, as a member of the New York Jets in 2008, Brett Favre texted pictures of his pride and joy to Jenn Sterger, a silicon-stuffed attention monger masquerading as a Jets' "sideline reporter." The "Wrangler Dangler" would eventually admit to leaving sleazy voicemails on Sterger's phone, but he continues to deny that he's ever worn Crocs.

Ryan Longwell, Jared Allen, and Steve Hutchinson make the voyage to Hattiesburg, Mississippi, to recruit Brett Favre out of retirement. After a bromantic evening of reminiscing and rye whiskey, they successfully coax Favre off his his lawn mower for one more run at the title.

An unnamed source tells Yahoo! Sports that "Brett thinks Childress has no clue about offense." In the coming days, backup quarterback and fan favorite Sage Rosenfels (along with return man Darius Reynaud) is jettisoned to the Giants for future draft picks, fueling speculation that he was the locker room leak. Upon his arrival in New York, Rosenfels tells reporters that Eli Manning thinks Dora has no clue about exploring.

Pro Bowl receiver Sidney Rice, a Drew Rosenhaus client, decides to have hip surgery six months after original doctor recommendations. He'd go on to miss nine games. Speculation abounds that the delayed surgery is a contractual ploy orchestrated by the real-life Jerry Maguire. The development leaves a gaping hole on the outside, and sets into motion a desperate chain of events.

Now lacking wide receiver depth, the Vikings sign NFL washout Javon Walker (he's cut two weeks later), and then deal cornerback Benny Sapp to Miami for receiver Greg Camarillo. The move means Vikings fans will be subjected to heavy doses of Asher Allen, who couldn't cover a sneeze.

Still haunted by their five-turnover NFC Championship Game debacle just nine months prior, the Vikings return to New Orleans to kick off the season in eerie fashion. The pregame Super Bowl banner ceremony is a throat punch, and a demoralized effort results in a second straight loss under the Superdome lights.

Vincent Jackson trade rumors fall through. Still starving for a playmaker, Minnesota acquires an exciting young talent to attract double teams. They pick up her husband, Hank Baskett, too.

A deal is swung with New England to bring Randy Moss back to Minnesota. The news sends Vikings' country into a frenzy, as grown men gleefully squeeze into dusty No. 84 jerseys like tweens in tube tops at a Bieber concert.

Randy Moss makes his much-anticipated second Vikings' debut in a Monday Night showdown with the Jets at the Meadowlands. On his very first play, he takes a reverse handoff and completes an illegal pass to Brett Favre. In hindsight, the entertaining blunder would serve as a perfect metaphor for the entire Moss experiment. Trailing 12-0 in the third quarter, Favre finally connects with Moss on a gorgeous 37-yard tear drop. The clouds part, and a chorus of angels rain down from the heavens. The touchdown, Favre's 500th, would unknowingly become the season's climax. A late interception drops Minnesota to 1-3.

After a tightly-contested loss in Green Bay, the NFL apologizes to the Vikings for bungled officiating. The apology is painfully reminiscent of the "Sorry, you should have been in the Super Bowl but the city of New Orleans needed it more than you" letter the team received after the NFC Championship Game.

Randy Moss returns to New England to face his former team on Halloween night. Moss catches just one pass for eight yards in the Vikings' loss, and draws criticism for quitting on a catchable deep ball. In a bizarre post-game press conference, Moss gushes uncontrollably over the Patriots' organization. It's like Brad Pitt telling Angelina Jolie that Jennifer Aniston was better in the sack.

Brad Childress waives Randy Moss. The bombshell ignites a controversy in the "triangle of authority," as Childress had failed to discuss his intentions with Zygi Wilf. In the coming days, a story emerges that the classless Moss had berated a local caterer's donated post-practice spread in a profanity-laced tirade. Despite Moss' despicable behavior, the rabid fan base goes after Childress with pitchforks and torches.

Brad Childress and Percy Harvin have to be physically separated afer Childress reportedly questioned the injured Harvin's effort in a Friday practice. Later, the team suggests that the feud was over Harvin's unwillingness to get an MRI. Fans and media connect the dots back to the waiving of Harvin's friend and mentor, Randy Moss.

In his first game without Randy Moss, Brett Favre throws for a career-best 446 yards in an improbable 27-24 overtime victory over Arizona. After trailing by 14 with under five minutes to play, Favre hits Visanthe Shiancoe for a 25-yard score with just 27 seconds remaining to send the game into overtime. Ryan Longwell kicks Minnesota to a 3-5 record, but "Fire Chilly" chants grow louder than ever.

Following an embarrassing 31-3 home loss to the Packers, Brad Childress is fired. Leslie Frazier is elevated to Interim Head Coach of the 3-7 Vikings, and Tarvaris Jackson, despite his backup status, is elevated to Interim Head Scapegoat.

The Metrodome roof collapses under the weight the Super Bowl Championship banners hanging from the rafters. Or something like that.

Pushed to Monday night, the Vikings "host" the New York Giants at Detroit's Ford Field. It's the first time in 10 years that a Monday Night Football game is played in Detroit, and free tickets are issued to the public. The Vikings manage just 164 yards of offense in the 21-3 drubbing. Even Lions' fans are embarrassed. Brett Favre's consecutive game streak (297) also comes to an end, ironically, in the same slum as Lou Gehrig's.

Still homeless, the Vikings bum TCF Bank Stadium from the University of Minnesota for a Monday Night showdown with the Bears. It's a logistical nightmare. The stadium has been winterized, and was not built with December games in mind. The field is compared to concrete, and the bowl is full of snow. Moreover, the new venue holds 13,000 fewer fans than the Metrodome, and despite the team's horrifying play, the intrigue of the first outdoor home game in 29 years has put tickets in high demand. For four days leading up to the game, 1,500 workers and volunteers clear 40,000 cubic yards of snow from the stadium. Another winter storm hits Monday, adding to the mystique, and Brett Favre makes a short-lived surprise start. Ultimately, the 40-14 defeat becomes a mere side note to the snowy spectacle.

An impending east coast blizzard causes the Vikings-Eagles Sunday night tilt to be pushed back to Tuesday. A blitz-heavy defensive scheme, coupled with the solid play of Joe Webb in his first career start, results in a stunning 24-14 upset of the heavily favored (-14) Eagles. The win bodes well for Leslie Frazier's coaching future. However, it costs the Eagles a first round playoff bye, and the Vikings several crucial spots in April's NFL draft. Even they win, the Vikings lose.

The Vikings return to Detroit, this time as the visitors. Prior to the game, the Vikings remove the interim label from Leslie Frazier's title. The team responds with a half-hearted effort, and a 20-13 loss drops the team to 6-10. In one year, the Vikings fall from the NFC Championship Game to the NFC North cellar. After the game, Brett Favre retires for the fourth straight year. It's a fitting end to one of the most memorable seasons in team history.

As fans, we'll be feeling the after effects of this for some time. It will be a very different healing process than the one we went through after the heartbreaking finish to last season. The sharp pain that left us counting the days until training camp, and ultimately, redemption, is long gone. Going forward we'll experience a forlorn ache that creeps in when hope becomes doubt, and certainties become questions. Has the window closed? Will a new season really mean a clean slate? Sure, Frazier's return as head coach should provide stability, but the fact remains that this team is still without a home or a quarterback. As we watch the Packers and Bears battle in the NFC title game next week, the promised land will never seem more distant.

Contenders or Pretenders?

To call the Vikings' season bizarre would be an understatement of epic proportions. Imagine if I'd told you two months ago that Randy Moss would return to the Vikings, Kendra Wilkinson would bring the twins to the Twin Cities, and Brett Favre's privates would no longer be private. You simply can't make this stuff up. The Winter Park Circus has taken center stage, but for all the wrong reasons. The product on the field hasn't been nearly as entertaining as the extravaganza off of it. At 2-3, the enigmatic Vikings are an immensely talented group of underachievers who probably don't deserve the opportunity they still have. However, the NFC North has been lousy, and as you're about to find out, a third straight division crown is still well within reach.

WEEK 7

You may find it hard to believe, but I don't hate the Packers. Aaron Rodgers, Clay Matthews, Greg Jennings, and Jermichael Finley are among my favorite players in the league. It's their uber-obnoxious, glue-sniffing fan base that drives me up a wall. The Vikings catch a couple of major breaks here. First, they get the outdoor portion of the series split out of the way early, meaning that the weather will be a month warmer for brittle Brett Favre. Second, and more importantly, the Packers are decimated by injuries on both sides of the ball. The headliners are season-ending injuries to Ryan Grant, Nick Barnett, and Finley (who torched the purple for 6/128/TD in his only contest last year). The running back tandem of Brandon Jackson and John Kuhn are better suited for bagging groceries. While Rodgers will still make some plays when the Pack goes four-wide, he was sacked 14 times in the two matchups last season, and another nine in his last two games. On the other side of the ball, Brett Favre wasn't sacked once in the two matchups last year, and he chucked seven touchdowns. He's started slow, but he has a 4:1 touchdown to interception ratio in his last two games. Adrian Peterson has scored in the last four matchups between these teams, and overall, the Vikings are simply too talented across the board for a short-handed team that's being held together with duct tape. Other notable Packers whose availability is in question are: Al Harris, Atari Bigby, Donald Driver, A.J. Hawk, Brandon Chillar, Chad Clifton, Cullen Jenkins, Clay Matthews, Ryan Pickett, Mark Tauscher, and Charles Woodson. The Packers opened tryouts to the public this morning, but the only "prospect" who passed the breathalyzer was a 460 pound bearded hoarder-woman who bore a striking resemblance to Gilbert Brown. He/she will battle Bryan Bulaga for playing time Sunday night. All kidding aside, this game was won three weeks ago, when in a 24-hour span the Packers passed on Marshawn Lynch and the Vikings added Randy Moss. It should be a tightly contested game, and for what it's worth, Aaron Rodgers is 1-11 in games decided by four points or less.

WEEK 8

This is a scary Halloween matchup for the Vikings. In case you're wondering, I'll be dressing up as a matador this year, in my purple #74. Ole! There's three factors the Vikings will struggle to counter in this one: a hostile crowd, possibly the best quarterback of all time, and a colossal coaching disadvantage. The Vikings will still hold a statistical advantage in most areas of this matchup, most notably over the Patriots' 30th ranked defense. But Bill Belichick is the ultimate trickster, and I'm not betting against him on All Hallow's Eve. The Vikings are hoping that Randy Moss will come back to haunt the Patriots, but the Brady/Belichick combination has won their last 23 regular season home games!

WEEK 9

The Cardinals are 26th against the pass and 29th against the run. Their starting quarterback, Max Hall, is an undrafted rookie. Hall replaced Derek Anderson, who couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat. Why am I even wasting time on this one, anything less than a 20-point shellacking should be considered a major disappointment. Welcome home, Larry!

WEEK 10

The Bears are an average team, and they're an epic blown call away from an average 3-3 record. They tripped up the Vikings late last season, but like the Packer home/road series split, the Vikings luck out again getting the outdoor game early. I know, it sounds weak, but I'll take Brett outside on November 14th over December 20th any day. The frigid weather stiffens his creaky joints, and it also causes shrinkage and shoddy cell phone service. If you need any further convincing, in six career games, Adrian Peterson has scored a ridiculous 11 touchdowns against the Bears and has averaged 138 yards per contest.

WEEK 11

The Packers should be much healthier in the rematch. However, Sidney Rice should be back in the fold for the Vikings as well. With matchup nightmares Moss and Rice on the outside, Harvin working the slot, Shiancoe working the middle, and Adrian being Adrian, this is the week that the Vikings' offense hits full throttle for the first time. Additionally, the Vikings have won 12 of their last 13 games at the stadium formerly known as the Metrodome. Skol.

WEEK 12

For some reason, this one has me a little worried. The Vikings are a markedly better team than the Redskins, who rank in the bottom half of the league on both sides of the ball. However, there's always one unexpected loss that you don't account for. There's the hostile crowd. There's the cold weather. There's Randy Moss hitting the FedEx Field showers early in 2005. There's Fred Smoot covering 1/3 of the Earth. This game just feels a lot like the late-season losses in Carolina and Chicago last year. I'm calling it a tentative victory for now.

WEEK 13

The Bills might be the worst team in the NFL. Quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick, a Harvard grad, scored 48 out of 50 on his Wonderlic Test, and might be the smartest player in the league. That's neat. However, he sucks at football.

WEEK 14

As of October 21, the Giants may be the cream of the NFC crop. They're talented, balanced, well-coached, and have recent Super Bowl cred. The Vikings have won their past four against New York, which is refreshing when you consider that our Twins have lost 17 of their last 19 to the Yankees. As of right now, however, the Giants are the more solid, consistent team.

WEEK 15

In the Week 10 matchup, the only advantage I could find for the Bears was their home turf. They've lost three straight in the bubble, and they'll be outclassed again in this one.

WEEK 16

As a Viking fan, I know all too well how dangerous Michael Vick can be. The Philly fans may decide to spare Santa this year and save their snowballs for the Vikings. Between the weather, the stout opponent, the hostile environment, and Andy Reid's clear psychological edge over former understudy Brad Childress, I'm very pessimistic about this potential playoff preview. If that's not bad enough, the Vikings will be coming off an emotional victory with a short week of preparation.

WEEK 17

I expect this to be a "win and you're in" matchup for the Vikings. Thank you, schedule makers! This isn't your older brother's Detroit Lions -- this bunch is plucky. However, the Vikings won the first matchup handily. That made six straight over Detroit, and with Minnesota angling for a playoff birth, this should be a blowout.

I found it difficult to pick against the Vikings in most matchups. Not because I love them, but because on paper they are easily one of the most talented teams in the league. They've invented some interesting methods of self-destruction over the last year, but that's a difficult thing to figure in to this kind of exercise. Randy Moss not only brought game-breaking ability back to the purple, but he brought his air of swagger and confidence that's been striking fear into opponents since 1998. I've predicted a 10-6 finish, but I have six "swing games" on the schedule -- games that I can see going either way (within two notches of center in either direction). In those six swing games, I have the Vikings going 4-2. That means that in my estimation, their record could range anywhere from 6-10 to 12-4. Their stretch of three swing games from Week 10-12, which includes two crucial home divisional matchups, may ultimately decide their fate.

What do you think? Am I a jaded homer? Am I being too critical of the home team? Let's hear it!

Webb Gem?

"You're a goddamn quarterback! You know what that means? It's the top spot, kid. It's the guy who takes the fall. It's the guy everybody's looking at first - the leader of a team - who will support you when they understand you. Who will break their ribs and their noses and their necks for you, because they believe. 'Cause you make them believe. That's a quarterback." - Al Pacino (as Tony D'Amato), Any Given Sunday

OK, so maybe the conversation between Brad Childress and rookie 6th rounder Joe Webb wasn't quite that colorful. However, the 199th pick in April's draft was so impressive throwing the ball at last month's rookie minicamp that Childress was prompted to award him the third red quarterback jersey. This effectively ended Webb's brief career as a converted NFL wide receiver, returning him to his natural position where he starred at the University of Alabama-Birmingham. Meanwhile, Sage Rosenfels, who just sixteen moths ago was acquired to become the Vikings' starter, has been unofficially demoted to fourth string. His exit from the team now looks inevitable. In related news, somebody kicked his dog and stole his lunch money. Webb, on the other hand, appears poised to assume the real-life Steamin' Willie Beamen role, as a raw, ultra-athletic 3rd string quarterback waiting in the shadows of an aging legend.

Webb is a bit of a mystery. He's probably better known for his viral YouTube jumping spectacle than he is for his prolific career at UAB, where he became the first quarterback in NCAA history to pass for 2,000 yards and rush for 1,000 yards in back to back seasons. UAB coach Neil Callaway, who also coached Bo Jackson at Auburn, said that Webb is "in the same league" as Jackson from a physical standpoint. However, despite his freakish athleticism and strong arm, Webb's below average accuracy, shaky mechanics, and questionable decision making had scouts projecting him as a marginal pro quarterback prospect. So Webb split out to play receiver at the Senior Bowl, where he figured to best capitalize on said athleticism. A man without a position, the 6'4", 220 pound Conference USA Player of the Year was one of the more notable Draft Combine snubs.

Undeterred, Webb attacked his UAB Pro Day, and further cemented his status as one of the premier athletes in the entire draft. His 42.5" vertical jump, 11'5" broad jump, 3.91 second 20-yard shuttle, and 21 bench reps all would have ranked first among combine receivers. His 4.43 40 time would have put him fifth among receivers and first among quarterbacks. What makes these numbers even more remarkable is that Webb carried a larger frame, wingspan, and hand size than all Combine receivers. While he clearly lacked polish as a receiving prospect, his raw size-speed measurables compared favorably to the likes of Vincent Jackson, Marques Colston, Brandon Marshall, and even rivaled Calvin "Megatron" Johnson. His ridiculous broad jump score, which is a measure of explosion, was nearly a foot longer than Adrian Peterson's. Had he been invited to the Combine, he surely would have garnered similar hype to Maryland's Offensive Tackle and workout warrior Bruce Campbell.

Trying to project the uniquely talented Webb's future in the league is impossible at this point. The consensus seems to be that, if used creatively, he could be a lethal Wildcat weapon, but not an every down signal caller. In the coming months you'll see names like Kordell Stewart, Josh Cribbs, Brad Smith, and Tim Tebow. For now, Vikings fans can only dream about a future backfield featuring Webb, Adrian Peterson, and Percy Harvin causing nightmares for defensive coordinators. Most likely, that dream will never come to fruition. I'm not buying Sid Hartman's "Quarterback of the Future" speculation. Webb simply lacks the quarterback-specific traits needed to succeed at the next level. But he is another tool for Darrell Bevell to utilize, and for a 6th round draft pick, this is shaping up to be something special. There is no doubt that Webb is a lottery athlete, and for the first time in years, preseason games will be worth watching well into the second half. Whether he can make a meaningful contribution in the regular season will be widely debated, but keep in mind that on any given Sunday, the #199 pick could make a difference. Just ask Tom Brady.

The Death of the $7.99 Fantasy Football Magazine

For some, the fantasy football season is right around the corner. For others, like myself, it never really ends. I started jotting notes for the 2010 season about halfway through the 2009 season. As the fantasy football monster continues to grow, managers are getting savvier, stakes are getting higher, and leagues are becoming more cutthroat. My goal with this entry is to provide a comprehensive collection of fantasy resources that you may not have previously considered. Think of it as your guide to cheaper, better information. Because if you're showing up to a draft in late August with a $7.99 fantasy magazine, you're not only donating your entry fee, you're donating your pride.

Fantasy football happens in real time. Values are changing right now. And now. And now. Herein lies the obvious problem with fantasy magazines. Sure, they have their place. They can be fine as a refresher on last season's stats and offseason roster moves. However, it's imperative you understand that your shiny new magazine will be outdated by the time you swipe the Visa. In fact, it was outdated on the shelf long before you even smudged it up. My buddies have chided me for years about my Brad Childress-esque color coded cheat sheet that I bring to my drafts. It's a custom report tacked to an old-school clipboard; the summation of months of researching my most trusted sources, participating in countless mock drafts, and weighing my own gut instincts. What it lacks in gloss, it makes up for in year-end payouts. Nothing on my final draft day printout comes from a magazine. My best advice to you: Don't let a magazine sabotage your draft and turn you into your league's favorite punch line. Fantasy football has evolved, and you need to keep pace.

If you're not tweeting, you're not trying. Say what you will about Twitter, but it's quickly become the premier source for up-to-the-second fantasy football information. It's here that you gain access to the "experts," and more importantly, the nerds. It's a place for informed debates and priceless links. Furthermore, it's by far your best bet for pre-game updates during the season. In my favorite Twitter moment of last season, I shamelessly asked Kurt Warner about his availability for the Week 13 Sunday night showdown with the Vikings, as he was listed as a "Game Time Decision" due to a concussion. To my surprise, he replied that he was playing, so I left him in my lineup (I'd added Leinart as an emergency play, of course). He proceeded to carve up the Purple for 285 and 3 TD's, and I was rewarded with a slim, playoff-clinching victory. Admittedly, Kurt Warner might have been the only honest, god-fearing man in the NFL. So get started with these guys, and cash in on more dependable information: http://tweepml.org/?t=40430.

Listen up. Podcasts are free and versatile. Listen at work. Listen in the yard. Listen in the car. There is no excuse not to get plugged in. There are two podcasts that are staples in my fantasy diet. I listen daily to ESPN's Fantasy Focus Football, where Matthew Berry and Nate Ravitz regularly fight like a married couple. Highlights of the show include the "Name Game" player vs. player debate, and Stephania Bell's top notch injury analysis. They're getting it warmed up already with a weekly show: http://tinyurl.com/6ehkh7. We're also very fortunate, in the MPLS/St. Paul area, to have the industry's best fantasy show in our own back yard. KFAN 1130's Fantasy Football Weekly airs Saturday mornings starting in late July, and is hosted by nationally regarded industry gurus Paul Charchian, John Tuvey, and Bo Mitchell. The show includes fantastic segments of caller questions and matchup breakdowns, as well as "Five Tough Questions," "Take a Chance on Me," "Lightning Round," and the "Todd Heap Memorial Injury Report." Nobody works harder to provide fact-based analysis and speculation than these guys. It's free money: http://tinyurl.com/yeby2qr.

Fake it 'til you make it. Mock drafts give you the insight into how the fantasy community is valuing players. They also prepare you for those unpredictable, sink-or-swim moments of your draft. With mocking, you'll become familiar with ADP's (Average Draft Positions). This could be the single most important piece of ammo for traditional drafts. It's the difference between reaching and value. If you haven't done a handful of mocks before your draft, you deserve the inevitable embarrassment that will ensue. ESPN's Mock Draft Lobby is great: http://tinyurl.com/d2jo7a. I also mix in mocks at www.mockdraftcentral.com and www.fantasyfootballcalculator.com.

Do the legwork. Get out and socialize with other members of the fantasy community. Don't be too proud to tag along to a pal's draft. Observe how certain players are perceived locally vs. nationally. Learn from others' mistakes. Find the smartest guy in the room (hint: he won't be thumbing through a magazine), and take note of his (or her) moves. Hit up the spread and snag a couple free beers. There's no hiding behind the computer; experiencing a live draft gets you dialed into reality, and more focused than ever. Another great opportunity for the MPLS/St. Paul crowd is the Fantasy Football Weekly crew's Fantasy Training Camp, held late summer at Treasure Island Casino in Red Wing. This is as "insider" as it gets. From slideshows of statistical gold, to an expert mock play-by-play, you will leave this event with a decided advantage over the rest of your league. And, like the rest of these new age fantasy tools, it's free.

Follow this advice, and you'll go from an ordinary fantasy participant to a feared power player in your league. Do you utilize other non-traditional resources? Feel free to share and discuss.